"Lighting the Fire"
Jotting – Week 12

Pray in Order to Love

When our youngest daughter was in eighth grade, a situation arose that she had a hard time overcoming. In today’s world we would call it “bullying.” Dinah was always tenderhearted, looking to the interests and needs of some of the more unlovable members of her class. Often she stood up for them against verbal attacks by others.

When she reached eighth grade, the attacks began to come her way. Among other jibes, she was told, “If you would stop being friends with ________________, you could be popular” and once even, “What are you going to do, Dinah, commit suicide?”  Not wanting to hurt others, she refused to retaliate or give back in kind. But her inner hurts showed themselves in frustration and anger at home.

She and a friend often wrote notes back and forth. In one of these notes, Dinah poured out her feelings of anguish and sorrow. The note was left in the pocket of the friend’s jeans, and the friend’s mother found it on laundry day. The mother called me at work to ask if I knew what was happening. “No,” I answered, “I knew something was wrong, but Dinah hasn’t said anything at home.”  I thanked the mom for her call and hung up.

All the way home that day, I prayed for wisdom to help our daughter through this situation.  Walking into the house, I found her sitting on the floor of her room, looking despondent. “Dinah,” I asked, “what’s the matter?”

That’s all it took–a simple question. The tears and the story came. Dinah was hurting–not only for herself, but also for those who had caused her pain. I asked if she wanted to pray about the situation and her “yes” came immediately. So we prayed. We prayed for Dinah, and we prayed for the classmates who were giving her such anguish. We asked that the Lord bless them, that He would open their eyes and their hearts to see the hurt they were inflicting. We asked that the Lord surround them–and Dinah–with His love and grace and forgiveness. We asked the Lord that Dinah would be able to love them with His love.

Within a week’s time, the circumstances changed. We shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was amazed at the speed and the power that God rendered in this case. Dinah did not rebuke her tormentors or chastise them in any way. In fact, she said nothing at all to them. But their verbal barbs stopped. In fact, just a week or two later, Dinah and one of the more aggressive bullies rode to a party in the same car and had a congenial conversation. They remained friendly the rest of the year.

The remaining school term flowed more smoothly, not only for Dinah, but for those who learned that God’s love and forgiveness is the better way. I remained astonished at how God so thoroughly answered our prayers.

Jesus said, “I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).

How often do we really do that–pray for those who call us names, foul up our accounts, make us wait, pull over in our lane, walk out on us, cause us heart pain, fire us, undermine our goals, belittle us, discourage and abuse us, cause terror and horror in the world, sit in Satan’s pocket to bring about eternal death and destruction in the lives of people?

Isn’t our first impulse to retaliate, blame, berate, and react in kind? That’s just what Satan waits for. Then he can move in to cause more destruction of soul and spirit than caused by the first words spoken or actions given. He turns our hearts and thoughts away from the grace and love of God. Jesus, instead, wants us to remember His words: “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Matthew 5:11-12).

One of my favorite Bible verses is Romans 2:4: “Do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? (Emphasis added.) It was Jesus’ look of love at Peter that brought him to his knees, weeping in repentance for denying his Lord (Luke 22:61-62). It was the kindness of Aquila and Priscilla for Apollos that turned his fervent–though inaccurate–preaching into a bold witness for Christ (Acts 18:24-28).

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Abraham prayed for the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. King Saul gave up the chase of David after David refused the opportunity to bring harm on this anointed servant of God. It was Paul’s love for Jesus that turned his chains into an opportunity for the Gospel that even the prison guards were aware of it (Philippians 1:12-18).

Turn the offenses, the hurts, the grief, the anguish you suffer toward good for the kingdom of God. Pray for your enemies, for those who mistreat or malign you; ask God to bring about good for the spread of the Gospel and the coming of His Kingdom through your circumstances (see Romans 8:28). Our greatest example of this is Jesus, who prayed for His enemies, for those who had nailed Him to the cross (Luke 23:34). Even for those sins He died. We can remember when others sin against us, sometimes they “know not what they do.”

“Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). God knows that when we hang on to thoughts of revenge, of retaliation, of getting even, it keeps our pain alive, our wound open.  To forgive others takes away the bitterness that eats away at the peace God desires us to have, heals the heartache, eases the anguish.

Look at the world situation and pray for those who persecute Christians–as well as the Christians who are undergoing trial by fire and water. Pray that God bring a swift end to terror and destruction through love and joy and peace that only He can give. Ask God to strengthen Christians everywhere to show love to those who are enemies of the cross that they might be won for Jesus.

Pray for missionaries here and around the world who face Satan’s cohorts. Ask the Lord to strengthen their faith, to build up the hedge surrounding them against the devil’s attacks (see Psalm 32:10), to deal death blows to the evil that assails them so that the Gospel may be preached and people reached for His Kingdom.

Pray: Father, forgive me for times that I have been insensitive to the feelings of others, when I have hurt others through my words and actions. Fill my heart and my mouth with kindness and love. Let me never be the cause of anguish for someone else. And help me to forgive others as You have commanded. Empower me to give the hurts and pain into Your keeping. Help me to know that forgiving is not the same as giving approval to the words or the actions that wounded me, but to know that it is through Jesus’ suffering and death that these sins are washed away. Help me to love as You love. Give me Your love for those who hurt me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.